IELTS writing 1

[Abhay Channagiri]

Could be please provide an overall grade for this assignment.Thanks in advance.

Gym Membership

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to request a refund for my silver membership at your gym located in Cleveland.

Let me explain in detail. I am John Doe and my GYMID is XYZ568. I had signed up for the fitness training sessions, on Monday’s and Thursday’s, every week from 6 30 to 8.

Recently, I left my current job to join another company based in Los Angeles. I will not be able to use the services of your gym anymore- as I will be relocating in two weeks time.

This is an urgent request – as time is limited. I would greatly appreciate if you could kindly refund the amount already paid for the remainder of this year.

Thanks for your consideration.

I would be happy to provide any additional details, if necessary.

Yours Sincerely,
John.

[geadmin]

Hi Abhay, this would likely score an 8 on IELTS as it is well written and mistake free. To gain that extra band you should expand a bit more like “Although I realize that the gym has a limited refund policy, I would appreciate an exception in my case because of this unforeseeable circumstance. As well, this money is quite important to me at this time as the move to LA is quite costly.”

[Author]

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